Sad sad puppy :(

Well well well...look who is back...its ME!!!! Hehehe. Well not for long though. I came home day before yesterday and am leaving tonight..back to CUSAT. Now let me tell you about CUSAT!!!!

Everyone things its such a great place to get an education for master. And yea they are right. But they forget one thing..that it cuts you off from the rest of the world. Atleast for me it did. First day when i got into CUSAt...i was very happy. I couldnt believe that finally i would be studying in a prestigious institute. Little did i know the monster lurking in its corridors...grabbing hold of all you freedom and fun.

I am studying for biotechnology over there. Frankly...its a subject that i like. But unfortunately you dont have a single job opportunity with doing a PhD in a specific field. Its a common misconception. Just because the word 'biotechnology' sounds fancy and new doesnt mean that u will get a job right way in this field ( and i am talking to those career oriented people...like me..not the research oriented ones...who actually have a great chance to do well in this field). So i was a little upset because people who really knew about this course had warned me against it. And i didnt heed their warning and now i regret it. The teachers ( who are a little too much to handle...maybe because they all have Phd's and have gone crazy due to intensive research) arent even supportive of you. They just bluntly layed down the fact that the course we are studying is just useless!!! ERRRR...i know its true...but truth hurts ok!!!!!

And people in my class ( all girls inspite of our course being mixed) are too intellectual. Like i said...they are all research oriented. I am the least intellectual of them all. My IQ is as good as a hamsters!! They are all such book worms and its kinda scary for me. I naturally dont fit in. There is not a single soul there whom i can relate to and have fun with. But yea...all of them are friendly...but we all live in different levels...i donno if u understood or not. I am too homesick there. My schedule is too hectic. I am there in the department atleast 10 hours a day. I am not cut out for such a kind of work. But some how i must manage it. There is a famous qoute that say "I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it ". I guess that is what i am going to do.

I imagine myself...2 years from now...I have lost all my senses and i live in an alternate reality..more like a shizhophrenic. The scanty hair in my head even more scantier due to the stress...dark circles below my eyes. My face looking gaunt and tired. I have lost all the youthfulness in me.Somehow I look much older than my age. I no longer know how to have fun. I find my self lost in thoughts...... Yea yea i know i exaggerated...but i can help myself imagining like that. Who knows...maybe eevrything will turn out for the good...or maybe not. Hmm but going back tonight...i cant imagine about that...oh nooooo :((((((((