Silver Lining

Heart break is one of the worst kinds of pain one has to face in life. It can not only be because of breaking up with a loved one...but it can be because of loosing your trust in someone you considered as your best friends, death of someone you love, watching your life fall apart one bye one and knowing that you can do nothing about it, etc. Whatever the cause may be, it is painful physically and mentally. Whoever said that your heart was breaking into a million pieces when you are in a heart break was right!!!

What does one do when in such a condition?? Different people have different ways to overcome a heart break. I normally cry it out filmy style. Then I listen to mellow music or watch my favorite series 'How I met your mother" on my laptop. Then i think of this one saying that my grandmother told me..."Everything happen, happens for a reason". And its true. God has greater plans for us, plans that we can't even imagine. You might be sad right now but those tears will soon dry away and pave way for happiness. Every cloud has a silver lining. You just have to be optimistic about the sun coming out from the clouds. That silver lining of hope is what drives me through.

So be optimistic!!!

From exam to driving drama!!!!

My 3rd semester is over and I am back home sweet home :). I donno how the hell i managed to come back home yesterday. It was my last exam yesterday. So as always during the exam times...I am stressed out and I don't sleep all to well. After the exam the events were all a blur. My stomach was grumbling as I hadn't eaten anything and since it was our last time together, all my classmates and I decided to have lunch together. By the time everyone gathered together it was already 3 and i had a train to catch at 5.25!!!! We all said our teary goodbye and I ran (not practically...but I took an auto...I know...no need to give me a "Oh she didn't take an auto all the way till the railway station" look..coz I DID!!!!!) for my train. After I reached the station I was exhausted from the lack of sleep and hypoglycemia(yea I know I just ate lunch but still I was damn hungry)!!!! The train was half an hour late and I had to stand there the whole while!!!! After I got into the train I slept for a good half an hour but my sleep was disturbed when a guy came and sat next to me and took of his shoes!!! GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it STUNK sooooo BADLY!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God I got the window seat...I was practically gasping for air. And after 3 painful hours I reached my hometown only to see it was raining so badly and I didnt have an umbrella. Even my caretaker who came to pick me up forgot to take an umbrella!!! Jeeessss could my day get any worse. So at 10 in the night I was drenched in the rain waiting for an auto driver to show some mercy and get me home!!!!!!!! after what seemed like 10 mins an auto driver stopped. I was freezing and today when I woke up....ACHOOOO!!!!! I got cold :(

Well even if I was having a cold I decided I would go out and shop for groceries. And I thought since i had a license and our car was rusting away in the garage I would drive there; When I presented this idea to my grandma..she was like oh well take kiran (my cousin) with you...and ask amma...and I called amma up. This is how the conversation went:-

Me - yea amma, I am going out grocery shopping and I am taking the care with me.

Amma (laughing) - yea right!!!

Me - No I am serious. Why cant i take the car out. I have got a license for god sake!!!

Amma - Ammama won't allow ( with confidence)

Me - Haha!!! Ammama said I can go!!!! And I will take kiran with me

Amma - (surprised) Oh......Oh.....Oh...........Well then i guess u better be careful!!!!

And that was that. I was taking the car out. I must give it to kiran for being the dare devil to come a ride with me. When i sat down in the car..i kinda forgot what i was supposed to do. I called kiran up and asked him. He was also out of touch with driving. We both started discussing all the essential point and in 2 minutes I was up and ready to go...or so i thought!!! It took me like 5 failed attempt to take a reverse and get the car out into the road...by which point all the angry drivers were honking their horns furiously at me. In my defense their honking made me nervous and that is what lead me to my failed attempt. After the first 10 mins...i FINALLY managed to get the car out on to the road. and from there it was a smooth drive...or so i thought!!!! I was sooo damn scared and kiran kept saying if ever you hit a car...make sure you hit it towards your side...i still wanna live!!! Oh kiri!!!! i kept driving in the second gear and because of my speed it took me like 3 traffic signals to pass a crossing (in my defense the signal time was only 15 seconds....how the hell do you expect to me cross in 15 seconds!!). after that kiran asked me to shift to 3rd gear...i told him noo it is hard to shift back to 2nd gear and i will get all confused!! so he told me stamp on the clutch and he changed the gear for me like twice lol!!! Thank god my fellow drivers had patience with me!! But I still managed to drive to different locations and successfully park and then come back alive in one piece. When i returned my grandma was relieved!! lol...it was funny. Phew now that is over... will i drive again??? I doubt it!!!

Irony, Irony...

I find that I can easily express the way I feel through writing. I put my thoughts together and just write it down and a sense of relief washes over me. But the same thought if I try to put in word, before I write it down, comes all wrong and sounds odd to me itself. Now the irony is that I am not able to write anything down as I tell myself that I have no time. I usually keep a journal for myself (not like your everyday what I did journal, but the occasional, random thoughts journal!!!). But now my pages in my journal are over and I dont have the time to go buy one (or so I tell myself!!! I cant believe I am too lazy to go down over to the store and buy one...its just a 5 mins walk!!). And so whenever I want to express myself I am stuck because I cannot write it down!!!!!! Now I dont wanna write it down in some book or pages for the fear thta someone might read it ( even though it is not an everyday journal its too special for me).

And when I sit down to write a blog, half way through I get stuck and I tend to save all of them as drafts. It is such an irony that the one thing that gives me solace and helps me express myself, my writing, am not able to commit myslef to it as much as I would like to. Hmmmm.

Now I am goin INSANE!!!!!!!!!!! Argghhhhhhhh!!!

In your shoes

Its sad that sometimes we are not able to see that a person is hurting because all the time all that person does is to make it hard for us to like them. Sometimes the things they do just make us irritate and think to ourselves that they are being selfish. But we fail to see what might cause them to be this way. And we just think that they were born to be like this...born to make our lives miserable!
I experienced such a situation recently. I never liked that particular person too much to be good friends with him/her. He/she never seemed approachable. But only later did i come to know what was taunting him/her life. I started to see things their way. I always try to put myself in their shoe and try to feel how they are feeling. It gives me a clearer perspective on what that person is going through.
Now i feel sympathy for that person. Every action that he/she is showing is a result of his/her emotional stress, their need for a company, to not be left alone by everyone. Even though I might not understand how they feel completely, I can say I understand. I'll try and be more understanding. This I promise to myself.